Gut Busters and Belly Laughs by Steven D. Price

Author:Steven D. Price
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2014-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

“Send someone over quickly!” the old woman screamed into the phone. “Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!”

“This is the Fire Department, lady,” the voice replied. “I’ll have to transfer you to the Police Department.”

“No, it’s you I want!” she yelled. “They need a longer ladder!”

Elizabeth was an eighty-five-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Edward. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Edwards’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become paralyzed, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

“On a woman,” the doctor said, “your heart would be just below your left breast.”

Later that night, Elizabeth was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee.

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